What are your fears, what are you afraid of? Some might say spiders, snakes, heights, etc. I once was afraid of roller coasters but after years ago of taking the plunge on Wildfire – at silver dollar city I was set! Sometimes a fear can be related to having an adrenaline rush or even anxiety. But how does one conquer their fears? Maybe one should admit their fears and discuss it. Sometimes others are unaware of what you fear and that can make it challenging as you then are more vulnerable and left comforted when with one if put into that “fearful situation”. So far I’ve had 2 fears sadly happen in my life. My first one was getting my house broke in to and ramsacked. What a feeling of being victimized that is! TO this day I do not care to be home alone, but primarily into the night time. After this occurred I went into this sense of depression but more FEAR! I remember family members (even my younger siblings) staying with me in the evenings if Daniel had plans as I could notfathom being alone. Remember, they ramsacked my house, they saw pictures of me, my friends and loved ones. What if they knew me when in public, but I didn’t know them? They stole my handgun, the one thing I felt more secure with when in public solo. I remember the cops identified the shoe print on my back door from being kicked in, it was a males VANS shoes. For weeks, months I looked all around my surroundings for a small male wearing VANS because I want justice and I wanted them identified! Now with this fear sadly occurring, I conquered so much with it at the same time. God truly does work in mysterious ways. Just a day or so before my house got broke in to, I was going through all my belongings to sell, with that, I could tell what was missing or not. Its funny what things you don’t even know you own until digging through things. PS: not that it was a thing then, but be sure to watch Tyding Up on Netflix and you will understand! I had also been doing Dave Ramsey so I was saving CASH, on-hand in my house for a trip to Chicago with Daniel and some friends in the next week, yet that was NOT found or taken. I feel as though God knew I needed that getaway after experiencing such an event!
Lastly, the most recent fear of mine took place and that is my grandma passing away. Not only was I VERY close with my grandma, but this was also the first death I’ve experienced. Sure, I’ve been to funerals and visitations, but this was the closest immediate family member’s passing of mine. Daniel’s dad has passed and that has it’s own story in itself (we’ll save that one for later), and my Papaw Willard, who I miss dearly! I’ve dreaded my greandma’s funeral services for years! I’ve had numerous dreams of being in attendance at it. I always envisioned myself falling to my knees at her casket. While that didn’t take place, I still had moments of weakness, both physically, emotionally and mentally. This is a process and it’s only going to take time and with the assistance of God. It’s been 6 months now and I cry at least once a week over missing her. She was my “go-to” person after all, especially after a bad day at work for example.
My last fears are losing my wedding ring (I have dreams of this as well) and something happening to Bennett. While I feel that is probably every parents fear, mine in particular is of him choking or something of that sort OR maybe dropping him like you are in a zone and forget you’re holding him… sounds wild but I’m sure you, who’s reading this, has done it with your phone before. Yaaa a phone and a baby are different and weights differ, butttt… surely you get my point. I pray this never happens! I also am petrified of something horrible happening to him. I had my scenarios of this specific fear spelled out at first but then I went back in to edit it because I don’t want some psycho to make it come true or tease, etc. This world we live in is scary folks! This isn’t 100+ years ago or even when you were a kid. The shit is scary! Pardon my language but it is. The world needs prayer! God! Christianity! …I’m a paranoid person.. I’m always making sure the doors are locked, gas on stove off, cars secured, and so forth. What a horrible feeling. I have a routine every night checking these things. I PRAY this never happens but when thinking of it I also remind myself how that would make my life just rip away from me. He’s my only kid. My life. What makes me who I am. He completes me. I crave this kid. I love Daniel and my family but having your own kid and becoming a mom is truly life changing.
According to scripture:
“Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid.” ~ John 14:27
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7
So, Maybe fear is such a sense of something you can’t control or have power over. According to google, it’s “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat“. In conclusion, just because you fear something doesn’t mean you have to conquer it. Hell, my other 2 fears in life I hope NEVER happen, one more than the other. So what are your fears and are you willing to “own up” to them? Does admitting them help you conquer them? Maybe it’s nothing to be conquered but something to make people aware of. Fear can be a scary thing. Fear can turn in to anxiety. Fear and anxiety can turn into depression and the cycle goes on and on.
And remember… it might be easier said than done, but always make sure God is in control!
Simple & Relatable - Through Faith, Marriage, Family, Bennett & Bessie! 
My house was broken into several years ago in the middle of the night while I was home alone. It ended up being my drunk/high neighbor who thought he was at his own house, but those few minutes after he had kicked in the door on the enclosed porch and was trying to kick in the deadbolted door were the scariest of my life. I hid in my closet on the phone with a dispatcher waiting for the police. Even though it’s been several years I still have a hard time being home alone, especially at night! Being victimized while at home is probably my worst fear and the one that’s most real to me, because I realize now how quickly someone can get into your home. I know that fear is not of God and we are supposed to give it to Him, but I think it’s human nature to want to be in control which makes it hard to fully surrender. It takes a lot of spiritual discipline. I think once you truly surrender then you can be at peace, but it’s an ongoing process.
LikeLike